Embraced by Truth...

Painting by Childe Hassam

A peaceful state is obtained

when there is an over whelming feeling

of being embraced by Truth.

It is being able to acknowledge,

without becoming terrified,

that in a hundred years from now,

no one will realize

that you ever existed...

Yet, it is also being

completely confident,

that you will then 

BE

that very Truth

that another person

is being embraced by.
Lindy P.

My Secret Garden....

The Rose of All Roses, Wilhelm Menzler

Today at Mass, the Priest mentioned how our souls are a little plot of land that God gives us and that it is our responsibility to tend the plot and hopefully, make a beautiful garden out of it!  What a lovely image that is and it really got me to think of my own little garden.

  For many, many years I didn't even know that I HAD a plot!  So, when I realized that I did...I had a lot of cleaning up to do!  The plot was hard, dry, and lifeless!  So ugly and un-appealing that I really didn't even like to be present there.  I made excuses like, "It's too hard, too much work, how come everyone else's plot is so much better than mine?"....I could go on and on.  Then, I must have just started slowly weeding out some of the  weeds.  I'm sure I didn't  weed them all out  at once, but must have, at some point, realized that it was kind of nice and relaxing to be in my little private plot, to be alone and aware that things had to get cleaned up.   I must have started watering my  plot with prayer and scripture and good books and began to notice that my garden wasn't hopeless after all...so then, I started planting a few flowers.   Flowers like St. Therese, St. John of the Cross, Liturgy of the Hours, St. Teresa of Avila, the Rosary,warm words from my Bobonne, my Carmelite Group (which by the way, Carmel means 'garden')....and before I knew it...I had a beautiful little sanctuary to go to whenever I wanted to be alone with the One I love!  Now, that I am aware of this little Garden, with God's grace, there will no stopping me!  I will make it a perfect, holy place to share time with Jesus.  We will walk around it together and Jesus, the MASTER Gardener, will point out things to me and share with me how I might change it to make it even better!  He'll tell me not to worry because He will always be there to help me and we will tend our little, hidden and secret place together!  Ah!  He loves us!

"The Lord will guide you always; He will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame.  You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail."
  Isaiah 58:11

Show me, Lord.....

Artist-Dora Noyes
       "Thou art to love the Lord thy God
 and follow the path he has chosen for thee."

                                                                       Deuteronomy 30:16


Sometimes I find it very difficult to remember that God has had my little life mapped out since the beginning of time...that the fact that I am here at this very time and moment is not just a coincidence.

     Lord, help me to trust that you know what is best for your little friend.  In my HEART I find it very easy to hand my whole being into Your loving hands...to trust You completely with my miserable little self...please teach my stubborn HEAD to do the same!
  Jesus, I trust in You!

Once Upon a dream...

... I was in an old  room with stone walls and there was just a bare stone bench in the room.  There was a large round hole for a window.  I was very cold in the dream and because I was cold I woke up...and saw a baby on the floor, kicking the blanket off of himself.  He was under the open hole or window.  I was telling myself that I needed to get up and cover up the baby.  He wasn't crying, rather very happy and kicking his little legs.  I got up and went over and picked up the baby and held him very close to me to warm his little body up.  He was plump and very cute with curly dark hair.  As I was holding him close to me, all of a sudden he spoke to me in a grown man's voice and said, "Do not cling to me so, for I have not yet ascended to my Father!" 

  I was loving on Baby Jesus!!

Painting by Paul Mooney

Fifty and, ummmm....FABULOUS?????

Today this little girl turns 50 years old. I remember when I was 30 years old, my favorite Aunt died...she was 49 years old. I remember thinking right then, that I would not live to see my 50th Birthday and here it is. One day, a few years ago, I said to my husband, "I just have this feeling that I'm going to die young." His response was, "Well, Lindy...look on the bright side, NOW you'll die 'middle aged'"!
So, I made it to 50 after all! This year has had it's bumps with 2 surgeries, 3 hospital stays, but with God's grace and LOTS of people praying for me, I now am the age that I TRULY did NOT think I'd make. So, now what?!?!? NOW, I stop living in fear! NOW I embrace who I am, and who God intended me to be! I refuse to kick myself, for waiting so long to do this. I want to live my life in God's grace...stop wearing a mask pretending to be someone else! Be one of those woman who embraces her middle age....grey hairs and all! I'm tired of pretending to be someone I'm not.
My mom was a beautiful woman. Truly, she was very attractive and did some modeling, made a few commercials etc. Most of my life I felt that she didn't think I was attractive...she would say thinks like, "You still have those damn sad eyes"...or,"I hate your hair like that"! As you can imagine, this really affected me really my whole life and I have really STRUGGLED with vanity, and I'm pretty sure that's the reason. Don't get me wrong, my mother was NOT a bad person...I loved her and she loved me...but, she was not the "model" mother, just like I wasn't the "model" mother. She did the best that she knew how. I don't even know why I am writing all this!! Oh yeah! My beautiful mother was always dying her hair. Seriously, we NEVER knew what color hair Mom would have! She was a brunette, blond, redhead, frosted...you name it! One year I went to visit and her hair was salt and pepper! NATURAL!! SHE WAS EVEN MORE BEAUTIFUL... I LOVED IT!! She looked like a MOM and not a sister! That's when I told myself that when/if I reach 'middle age status', I'm going to try to do it with grace and not mess with how God created me! After all...God doesn't make junk! I thought the age of 50 would be a good time to do this...but, after my surgeries this past year and me not getting to the Hairdressers, the greys are all ready there and I'm keeping them! The funny thing is how other people, mostly women, stare at my head! Or, say things like, "You're too young to go grey!"
My reply is that I really, REALLY, REEEALLY want to start embracing the woman that GOD intended me to me!! NOT who society says I should be! Maybe it's true that when you reach a certain age, you just get tired 'playing the game'. It's so silly to play the game anyways! All you end up with is regret. My intimate relationship with Christ has played a HUGE part in this, I know! God doesn't make junk! I'm PERFECT just the way I am! "I am my beloved's and his desire is for me"! (Song of Songs 7:10) The Holy Spirit is urging me to stop being who I'm not! TRUST HIM...I'm good the way I am!! With HIS grace he wants to make me BEAUTIFUL ON THE INSIDE...THEN...I'll be beautiful on the outside!! When my face and attitude SHINES IN HIS LOVE!! I am PERFECTION in His eyes!
GOD DOESN'T MAKE JUNK!

The Good Shepherd

How many times have I myself been like the little lamb that Jesus holds lovingly in His arms? He who knows me and calls me by name! I am special to Him and he longs for our intimate relationship as much as I do...even MORE than I do!! He loves to pick me up in His arms and protect me and just love His little lamb! But, because of my weak human nature, I forget this and try too often to rely on myself and more often than not, mess things up! Because He is a loving God, He lets me do this, all the while watching me...probably with a little grin...and patiently waits for me to ask Him again for help. And of course I DO ask and of course He does help because He is who He is!! He knows that I really DO desire to be held by Him. It is only in His arms that I am TRULY who I am MEANT to be!! Thank you Lord for giving me enough sense to at least recognize when You call my name...even though sometimes it takes me a while to actually listen and obey. Sometimes I am like a spoiled little child who wants to have her own way! But, like a good Father, you watch me and say to yourself, "OK...go ahead and try to do this on your own...you'll be back"!!
And I DO go back...RUNNING  into His arms and once again He picks up His little lamb and  loves and protects her...and we are both content to be where we are MEANT to be!